Asterios Kills a Kid | Episode 3: Cuss Control
Episode 3: Cuss Control
March 26, 2018
A kid calls the teacher “Dad”, a teen’s edgelord friends are growing up, and a boy is literally fighting off girl’s advances.
This is Producer Jesse, apologizing in advance for the language you will hear on this episode of Asterios Kills a Kid. It is so obscene that I had to use an experimental censorship algorithm to make just this description palatable. Listen at your own risk.
If you’re a kid and want Asterios to ██████ your ████████, you can initiate that here.
Our first writer is a kid with some serious daddy issues:
— Mendez, 11
You can’t change what you said in the past, but you can uproot the lives of everyone around you to save face, and that’s exactly what Asterios and Sriracha recommend. They also swap public ███████ stories if you’re into that kind of thing.
Next up is a question from the aptly named CRINGE.
— CRINGE, 16
The court of this young edgelord grows ever bare, and he finds himself at a crossroads. Should he continue making fun of people using gay slurs, or grow up and make fun of them in other more creative ways? Like a fucking spaghetti brained cuck bitch, Asterios says to “█████ ██ ███ ████”
Finally, all the way from Finland a young boy writes:
— Jyri from Finland, 10
████████ and Sriracha applaud Jyri’s game with the ladies and send him on his way, ignoring his genuine ████ and underlying ████████.
Do you have any advice for these kids? Let us know in the comments!
And if you have a question for ████████ and Sriracha, visit the Submit Question page.