Asterios Kills a Kid | The kids advice podcast hosted by broken people

What to eat when you’re high, how to get a fake ID, and more kid’s questions are discussed SATIRICALLY with SATIRE this episode.

“Producer” Jesse here! You may have noticed the quotes around the word “Producer”. Some might see this as an attempt to legally distance myself from the advice given in this episode, but I assure you that I never had anything to do with this podcast in the first place so the observation’s moot.

But as a curious, unaffiliated observer, I’ll outline some of the highlights:

00:01:34 A kid asks about which snacks to pair with marijuana (an ILLEGAL DRUG). The hosts, who’s names I think are Asterios and Sriracha, don’t even try to persuade him to change his ways. Instead, they share the foods that they eat while under the influence.

00:12:30 Sriracha presents a challenge to our their listeners - which includes impressionable teens - to insert sparkling water into their anus and report back.

00:13:56 A teen asks how to get a fake ID. No comment.

00:26:39 David from Wisconsin, 17 asks how to pick a college. An innocent question, which is unfortunately met with more unbecoming advice to prioritize partying over education.

There’s a lot of other content but I’m going to stop there. My verdict? No teens should ever listen to this show. It is dangerous, reckless, and could potentially even kill a kid someday. In fact, they should just call the podcast that! Asterios Kills a Kid!

If you’re a kid reading this, please, turn to the light. Don’t submit a question on their website and don’t call their voicemail at (347) 705-7617. It’s never too late to repent.